"Mama, can we get a gearbox?" Six Ways We Strew

Strewing is like having a FB mind-reading algorithm in your head focused on "stuff your kids might enjoy". Both Facebook and Netflix do this brilliantly. The movies I have watched on Netflix based on their strewing have become some of my favorites.

Strewing is a Sandra Doddism. She coined it for placing things around the house that might interest your children. Here's a link to her post about it. I think she had things in mind like, leaving books about some rare pink-footed-chimpanzees by the toilet, and bits of drift wood from the beach on the kitchen table, and dragonflies in amber by the toothbrushes. We don't do it quite like that. Here are some ways we strew in this family:

1) I sometimes choose books from the library - like The BFG (happy dance). I chose it because it's in a section of the library that Louis doesn't yet venture into, and I remember loving it as a kid. And I wanted to see if Louis would like it too.

2) We have a pin-board (which is actually the spring-web-thingee from an old set of bunks that we peg things to) and I put things on there that we've either done, or could do. One day, Louis or Joss might look at something and say, "Wow, can we do that?".

3) When it's my turn to chose something to watch on TV, I try and choose things that interest me - like this one, about a young guy who's choreographing a NYC Ballet. Stuff like this interests me, and I like that it introduces ballet to my kids. Joss couldn't stop twirling while we were watching it. Other things we watch are Jamie Oliver, BBC Life, Gilmore Girls…All strewing.

4) By doing stuff - going to the dentist together, going fishing, getting our hair cut. Tomorrow we're all going to the solicitor to sign off on our re-mortgaging. The kids come with me to my semi-regular volunteer work at a local organic vege farm.

5) Hanging out with other families - seeing what their toys are, which books they're reading, what they're watching.

6) Going to thrift-stores - buying sports gear, dress ups, old jigsaws, putting them in with all the other games and maybe one day they'll pick them up and do something with them.

I think the ABSOLUTE KEY with strewing is the no expectation thing. Putting something out there, holding the space for the possibility of them using it, but holding no emotional attachment to an outcome. And that's where we can channel FB and Netflix. "Don't like that one, no bother, move on."

Can there be more than one absolute key?? If there can then the next one is - be authentic about what you're strewing. It can't be an Opportunity To Teach. I think there has to be a high level authenticity about what's being shown or offered. If I was to come at something from a "I think you should know this" angle, it's not strewing. It needs to be more like, "I would love to share this with you, if you'd like".

The other night as we were snuggled up in bed, Louis asked me, "Mama, how do whales sleep?" and I couldn't answer him but suggested that we look it up the next day. Well, we did! And we found that out, and then followed a few you tube links and watched one video about a humpback whale that becomes caught in a net and is freed by a group of people, and then gives them a very demonstrative thank you. It was beautiful.

One of the first things I did when we moved into this house five years ago, was paint a couple of cupboards with black-board paint (hint, don't leave wood that you've painted black out in the blazing sun to dry. Warping things happen to it) and Louis has drawn on them approximately five times. Well, this week he quietly picked up a piece of chalk and drew this:

which, if you can't quite make it out, is a whale blowing out its blowhole, caught in a net, and a knife showing how it was cut out.

So much amazing.

This all reminds me that I need to get a hold of an old gear box. Louis was asking me about how they work. WTF dude?? And I figured if we (like all sane families) had one in the back yard he might go and tinker with it for a while.

I would love to hear about how you strew - I'm always up for ways to inspire us and change things up a little.